THIS IS NOT A FLAT (0, 0)
Et Tu, Ettu, or Etui, however you want to refer to yourself.
I now have access to your blog.
I pretended to be Disco Kevin to gain your trust.
The moment you gave me your log-in info to write my post,
I changed the HTML to freeze your website
so that you would freak out.
I knew you would be incapable of finding and fixing it.
In doing that, I was able to stall time to hack into your e-mail
to change the password for your account.
After doing that, I logged you out and unfroze the site.
It is mine now.
BACKSTORY (6, 6)
I’ve been the subject of your jokes since this blog began.
I am tired of seeing my name sullied for your horrible puzzles.
You all laugh at me.
I’ve seen your “about me” page, where you say your name is an anagram of “ardian powell”.
Guess what. I’ve had enough of this mockery.
I’m not actually a man named Disco Kevin.
My name is Darian Powell, and I am a crossword constructor.
How dare you think I’m so clueless,
thinking I wouldn’t recognize my own name
with only the first two letters switched around.
I’m not your little plaything.
I'm tired of the relentless mockery: saying I’m the constructor
of one of the worst puzzle websites at the time,
turning me into a meme among you and your community.
This stops now.
LETTER BANK (2, 3)
The fuzzy heads on fursuits
Aren’t great for seeing through.
I tripped real bad at AnthroCon—
I first said “THREE,” then “TWO!”
THREAT (8, 2)
I now know your identity.
I will reveal it to the world if you don’t promise me these three things:
1) never make a joke about me ever again.
2) you must tell people to follow my blog darianxwords.blogspot.com
3) you must write up my puzzles on your blog the day I post them with a glowing review
Your move, Et Tu Etui