puzzle one hundred and six: money moves

hunky dunky funky monkey it's a timely one

answers to yesterday's flats: COST / SCOTT'S TOTS, QUESARITO / AIR QUOTES, SHORT KING /  EACH / SHOCKING / EARTH, SWING VOTERS / STRONG VIEWS, BELCH OUT / BUTTHOLE CUT

FLATS FRIDAY: NUMBER TWO

i think fart should be spelt with a silent p. pfart. anyway here are pflats.

flats rules: [link].

LETTER BANK (4, *5’1 *4)

“The Office” rules, but lemme say

I skip B every time.

It’s funny, yeah, but at what A?

It’s cringy [MAKE THIS RHYME]

TRANSPOSAL (*9, 3 6)

Two dishes at Taco Bell rolled into one:

Go order a STAPLE, think outside the bun,

Just stick out your fingers, mi hombre, my dude,

With PETALS around it, that’s “Mexican food!”

CHANGE OF HEART (5 4, 4, 8, 5)

There once was a NINE who would strive

To tell all that non-tall men could thrive,

His words, although wise,

Came as quite a surprise

(They were EIGHT to FOUR person on FIVE)

TRANSPOSAL (5 6, 6, 5)

The campaign’s focused on the ONE,

will they turn red or blue?

They’re really not that hard to coax,

they don’t have very TWO.

LETTER BANK (5 3, 8 3)

I’m really not that talented

in practical things yet,

however I can skateboard well

and WRITE the alphabet,

though there’s one thing I did that brings

me joy on which I thrive,

I found the lost TWITTER of “Cats” 

(it’s saved here on my drive)

answers tomorrow!!

puzzle one hundred and five: et tu 3d

if you look at this puzzle like a magic eye picture you can see this puzzle in full 3d! ("in" clues are under the applet, check the puzzle info for 3d instructions)

puzzle one hundred and four: new york times, tuesday, april 4, 2034

a source on the inside has uncovered this puzzle that the new york times will be running in 13 years. this is an et tu exclusive. i've added labels in square brackets for extra information needed to solve the puzzle.

puzzle one hundred and three: certified fresh

i filled this grid with some of my freshest entries and clues! don't fact-check this.

answers to yesterday's flats, in order: FAULTIEST / ET TU ETUI FLATS, FLICKR / FRICK, OUTSMARTED / MUSTARD OREOS, RADAR / " ", POE / PEE PEE POO POO

FLATS FRIDAY: ONE

i'm trying flats now! mwahohohoho

flats rules: [link].

LETTER BANK LESS (9, *2 *2 *4 5)

I don't really remember

when this blog post came to be,

my memory’s the SETH, but hey!

hope you enjoy these THESE

PASTEOVER (*6)

My HALLE album has the tea

Of Sonic fans’ depravity.

See the pics and you can tell:

You ruined Sonic—what the HELL!

LETTER BANKLESS (10, 7 *5)

U.S.A.T. may have BESTED us

with their unheard-of clue,

but now I’m hooked on DEBTEES

*squirt and twist and lick* (uwu!)

PALINDROME DELETION (5)

Avant-garde stuff’s not on my THIEVES

But one song is giving me bliss.

I just unearthed a song by Cage

With almost five minutes of “THIS.”

LETTER BANK (*3, 3 3 3 3)

I’ve gone through this writer’s works,

And honestly, it’s all the same.

Would it kill that emo guy

To work in terms from shitpost fame?

Begone with gloom and “birds of yore”!

Here’s the theory I’ll assert:

I think that I’d like AUTHOR more

If he wrote stuff like “OH THAT HURT."

answers tomorrow!!

puzzle one hundred and two: happy year

here's a rejected new years puzzle i sent to the gray lady for the year we're living in. they rejected it mainly because the theme didn't seem that innovative. and also because eugene maleska didn't know what the fuck a macarena was.

puzzle one hundred and one: eugene t. maleska guest puzzle

thank you to the new york times monday puzzle (37-down) for initiating my second phase. everything is going according to plan.

monday. wednesday. flats friday. saturday. phase two. 

bwahahaha