one year of et tu etui

txt file (crossword compiler)

dict file (normal people)

a comprehensive list (9000+ words) of phrases/memes/ettu-isms for your software. you are et tu now

remember when all you knew about me was that i was an arts student?

puzzle one hundred and fifty eight: mmmmmmm breakfast

sorry about being awol for the past week, i was mourning eggley. that got me thinking about breakfast so here's this puzzle 

puzzle one hundred and fifty seven: guest themeless from eggley!!!

fuck yeah i love eggley! he's the best egg in the whole goddamn world. puzzle from eggley!!

  

puzzle one hundred and fifty six: states of matter (guest puzzle by yer gampy)

heehee

 

puzzle one hundred and fifty five: look!

who made my puzzle?

This month's constructor spotlight shines a light on Et Tu, Etui?

"I'm excited to announce that I've hired somebody to ask me questions about myself. Excited to finally share a bit of my personal life!" - Et Tu

Who are you?

I cannot disclose this information.

Where are you?

I cannot disclose this information.

What inspires you?

I cannot disclose this information.

Is there anything you can disclose?

As you know, I am notoriously secretive about my personal life. However, I am willing to talk here today about my past in puzzles and potentially any interpersonal relationships that I have currently blossoming.

Where and when was your first puzzle published?

My first puzzle was published in the New York Times! Back in grade school, my friends gave me the nickname Lazer. But then the editors demanded I submit a full name, so I started submitting as A. Lazare. Can’t win ‘em all!

How did you get into puzzling? What is your first memory of solving?

I started crosswords like every other constructor does: after watching my favorite documentary “Best Buy Employee Training Guide Vol. 1: Making a Sale”. In that training video, I learned a lot about theme development and creating a grid from scratch on paper. Back then, we didn’t have all these fancy softwares like Google Sheets or DeviantArt. Luckily, the Best Buy guys were able to bring in Arthur Wynne for a seminar. Also Craig was there too. That’s where I met him.

Wait, isn’t he your brother?

He *WAS* my brother. He died in a volcano. He is now dead.

That wasn’t really the point of my question.

Wowwww. It’s kind of insensitive to just shrug off my brother’s death like that. Y’know, I say something vulnerable to you and you respond with apathy? Sad. Ugh, whatever. He was estranged before that point, to answer your question.

 

Why do you continue to make crosswords?

I paid the “Fill Me In” guys so much money to mention me that one time that all of my work nowadays is an attempt to make back the money. Still trying to figure out how to get paid for all of this.

Do you use a computer software constructing program and, if so, which one? What do you like about it?

For the past ten or so years, when constructing for publications, I’ve used this software called “New York Times Solving Applet”. It’s very handy because the grid is pre-designed, the clues aid in the filling process, and the exporting to PUZ and PDF are streamlined. I usually send these puzzles to the New York Times (it just seems like their style) but they pretty much always get rejected. When I construct indie, I use this software called “Adrian Powell Secret Puzzle Collection (200+ files)”. It just appeared on my desktop one day.

 

How many hours a week, on average, do you spend on refining your tools, like your word list?

My personal word list is currently over 9000 entries, and I’m planning on releasing it in the near future. I spend maybe five minutes on this word list every single day where I just sit down, purge out 100 entries, and then take a nice long finger bath. My favorite personal entry so far is YOU'RE A SUSSY BAKA (15).

What entry or entries would you never put in a puzzle, and why?

I personally hate using crosswordese like RAE, ENO, ESTEE, EDIE, JEN, MATT, QUINN, JOEY, AVA, MARTHA, EVELYN, HANNIBAL, CLEOPATRA, CHRISTINA, TIMOTHEE CHALAMET, etc. Also, the more cluing angles for a word, the more I hate it. Entries should really only have one definition (that’s how the dictionary works).

What's an untapped market in crosswords you wish to explore?

People named "Bryce". I feel like everybody lumps them in with the Bruces and I just want them to feel recognized. Also: there should be more puzzles with clues that apologize for the entries in the puzzle because I love it when puzzles make me feel bad.

What else is going on in your life?

Ask me about my blossoming interpersonal relationships.

Do you have any blossoming interpersonal relationships?

I’m on Tinder now.

 

Is that it?

Holy shit, I tell you about something that’s super big for me (I was a sheltered kid) and the immediate response is “is there more to that?”. What if there wasn’t, huh? Geez, tabloids are all the same huh. Well, to answer your question, I also joined Hinge.

puzzle one hundred and fifty four: click, click, click, done!

comment below with your times for this puzzle!!!

puzzle one hundred and fifty three: misenko guest puzzle

excited to post this puzzle by the illustrious albert l. misenko!

 

puzzle one hundred and fifty two: i feel so good right now

i forgot what this puzzle is about so i hope it's good

puzzle one hundred and fifty one: i will never be hacked

"asdfdksjfshdkfj" - me when i laugh at my deviantart password, which is "asdfdksjfshdkfj"

   

puzzle one hundred and fifty: testing, testing

happy 150th puzzle! in celebration, i actually got people to test-solve the puzzle before i posted it. i think they liked it! idk i never really looked at their feedback.

 

puzzle one hundred and forty nine: money doesn't grow on threes!!!

three-letter entries are like caviar: they are not sour patch watermelon candy, but they are still everywhere for some FUCKING reason. 

puzzle one hundred and forty eight: this puzzle aged well

i won't tell you what this is a puzzle about, but let's just say you can RAISE A GLASS to it. you can really DRINK IT UP. you could call it ALCOHOLIC CONTENT. you might even say it's A PUZZLE ABOUT WINE. 

puzzle one hundred and forty seven: patrick bateman guest puzzle

absolutely "psycho" grid construction here hahaha lol lmao like the movie heehee

 

puzzle one hundred and forty six: oh no i spilled circles all over the grid

dammit! i was saving those for breakfast 

puzzle one hundred and forty five: i just realized that pearl river is an anagram of prevail err

me: time to write normal clues :)))
my brain: pic.twitter.com/UR8SfYTyYT

— et tu, etui? (@ettuetui) May 9, 2021

musk isn't the only person who can come up with horrible anagrams for the sake of comedy :) i hate you elon

puzzle one hundred and forty four: grid art puzzle

this is my magnum opus. no tribute puzzle can ever compare to this display of grid art and clever reference. when you realize what this puzzle is grid art of, you will be in awe. come back on monday for my next magnum opus 

puzzle one hundred and forty three: i eat puzzles like you for breakfast

and glunch

puzzle one hundred and forty two: taking the next STEPS!!!!!

four days since craig died 🕯️🕯️🕯️

still pourin one out for you 😔🍹 pic.twitter.com/ZvhecPPcVY

— et tu, etui? (@ettuetui) May 3, 2021

this post is dedicated to craig. he loved feet. 

 

puzzle one hundred and forty one: square meals??????????

ugh i should just start using numbers in my blog post titles huh 

puzzle one hundred and forty: easy midi

just a simple midi today! all the down entries are legit, but i don't know why i feel like i have to clarify that :)

puzzle one hundred and thirty nine: word economy

congrats to et tu's very own disco kevin for getting into the morning brew puzzle! unfortunately, i am still waiting for my response :( maybe i'll apply to their puzzle creator position in the meanwhile. here's another puzzle about businesses

 

FLATS FRIDAY - DID YOU MISS ME?

i'm back! did you miss me? (don't lie, you did)

SPOONERISM (*7, 2 4)

When me and my friends used to log onto YOUTUBE

(back when the service was still online),

Nintendo game downloads sans disc were our shit,

And we talked about motion controls all the time.

Even today, when we’re choosing our fits,

Our old gaming pastime affects what TO YOOB:

On Connor, a Mario tee looks pretty slick,

But these Kirby crocs make me look like a rube.

CURTAILMENT (9, 5 3)

Speedrun church? I have a TEST:

Lay TESTA, pray, and—boom! You’re blessed.

COVERING SELF IN OIL (*3, 2 4)

One day at a DRY game, I had to pass time.

So I thought I’d try for a serious crime

I snuck in the locker rooms, stole all their liquor—

They sent me to jail, but I got out SLICKER.

LETTER BANK (6, 5/5, 2 3 2 *6)

I A [sic] a viral B tweet

in which two opinions compete,

though some forums claim

they had bringed it to fame

typing "C!", though achieving no feat

click the button for answers

WIIWARE / WE WEAR | PROSTRATE / PRO STRAT | NBA / ON BAIL | WRITED / WIRED/TIRED / WE DID IT REDDIT

puzzle one hundred and thirty eight: ok but nobody told me what updog was

was he a guy i knew in college?

puzzle one hundred and thirty seven: croods themeless

as you may know, i love themeless puzzles and that is why they are the only thing i post on this blog. this puzzle first started as an attempt to [add seven-paragraph-long essay about every entry that i managed to fit into this puzzle in a vague enough way that it doesn't spoil the puzzle but specifically enough that i can justify writing this blurb]. luckily i was able to [imply i'm a coding god]

puzzle one hundred and thirty six: hey guys i found a cool new fifteen

if SMILE was a 15 it would "span" across my face every day :) instead i'm stuck with JOKER LIPS MAKE-UP   

puzzle one hundred and thirty five: ASSface

sorry really sad about not hearing from coby. here's an assface.

note: every entry in this grid is an ANAGRAM of a word in its clue, a SEMORDNILAP of a word in its clue, or a SUPERVOCALIC. also the grid looks like a face.  

puzzle one hundred and thirty four: that's business, baby

today's puzzle was inspired by (and submitted to!) my favorite crossword publisher "the morning brew".  tony howell a.k.a. the editor a.k.a. "bae" has graciously lifted submission guidelines from the nyt and instead of paying in money (which nobody needs lol), he is paying in brewneck sweatshirt, valued at 35 dollars. finally!!! i've been waiting to get my hands on one of these.

i have submitted this puzzle to coby three times. maybe more :)

puzzle one hundred and thirty three: le epic prank!

hey guys, here's a (heh) completely normal puzzle

no tricks here! i hope you *stifles laughter* enjoy it. hehehehe i mean what

FLATS FURSDAY: FLATS FURSDAY

by participating in flats fursday, you hereby agree to be deemed a furry by proxy. if you were already a furry before participating in flats fursday, it cancels out and you are no longer a furry.

TRANSPOSAL (4)

I know some might find me quite boring,

But I wouldn’t watch furries scoring.

Don’t call me a prude,

I’m okay if art’s lewd.

But I’m kind of OVER re: VOREing.

LETTER BANK (6, *8, 5 1 7)

He looks for SECOND art online,

And likes what he can see.

Legoshi kissing Haru? Fine!

Just keep it, like, PG.

(Alas, that hope is not to last,

He sees one FIRST and THIRD so fast)

WORD DELETION (WHOLE = *4 *6, IN = 3, OUT = 7)

One day at the WHOLE back in one-nine-eight-three,

When Best Musical was announced,

The cast (true to species) let out a big ~IN~,

and then, OUT the audience, pounced.

LETTER BANK (8, *10, 6 4)

Once I made a TEN post

Seeking fellow EIGHT around me.

Many folks responded

(that part kinda does astound me).

We talked about our ears and tails

And all the mice we’ve chased.

We had spaghetti dinner,

With some SIX FOUR (just for taste).

I don’t think I’ll soon forget

Those happy smiles, and how.

All in all, I’d say it was

A purr-fect day. Mee-wow!

click the button for answers

IFFY / YIFF | BREAST / BEASTARS / BEATS A RETREAT | TONY AWARDS / NYA / TOWARDS | CATGIRLS / CRAIGSLIST / GARLIC SALT

puzzle one hundred and thirty two: wwwhat the vvvwuck

a lot of people ask me "et tu, when you show a picture of yourself it's sometimes the clipart smiley face but sometimes it's mister happy pencil. which one are you really?" to them i ask, have you ever seen into the spiderverse

oh yeah flats friday is cancelled this week btw. more details tomorrow.  

puzzle one hundred and thirty one: wacław sierpiński can eat my pant

this puzzle looks a lot like the game simon, you know like simon says in among us haha when the impostor is sus 😳 

puzzle one hundred and thirty: it's 28-across! it's 28-across! it's 28-across! it's 28-across! it's 28-across!

this puzzle was inspired by my burning love for tito "dick" dickman baby

 

FLATS FRIDAY: GUEST FLATS BY ADA NICOLLE

Hi y'all! It's Ada Nicolle here, and I'm celebrating AJR day by telling Et Tu to let me post on their blog! Here are some AJR flats!

DOUBLE BANK (*1 *1 *1, 4) (7, *10)

I love this A1 album, maybe I’ll listen to B1

these brothers three make banger songs and I've listened to each one

I've played "The Click", now "B2" is the one blessing my ears,

I'll leave my door A2 so my whole family can hear!

FIRST LETTER CHANGE (*6, *6)

"ONE TWO went ONE TWO went ONE TWO went down

he said screw it, Imma smile right through it

and I'll scream when no one's around"

- AJR in their song "ONE TWO"

AJR-IFYING (2, 5)

(this flat requires knowledge of the ritual weapon known as the VAJRA)

"Comment ça TWO?" he said to me

I was in France then, don't you see?

He asked me if I knew the FIVE,

the ritual weapon symbolizing the properties of a diamond and a thunderbolt

VOWELCY (*2 *8, 4 6)

If you need a SECOND PHRASE

to skip shit you don't wanna do

just bump AJR'S FIRST PHRASE,

it's their new opening tune

click the button for answers

AJR / AJAR, ANOTHER / NEOTHEATER | HUMPTY / DUMPTY | VA / VAJRA | OK OVERTURE / GOOD EXCUSE

puzzle one hundred and twenty nine: can i have your number

😳

puzzle one hundred and twenty eight: forward-thinking

you guys know the drill, but for people who have never solved a crossword before, some advice: how the hell did you get here? 

puzzle one hundred and twenty seven: bad bunny (zootopia puzzle #5)

"silly rabbit, trix are for kids!" -zootopia, i'm pretty sure

it's truly been an honor to serve as a brand ambassador for disney+. while this may be the end of zootopia week here on et tu etui+, i will continue to manifest the zootopian spirit for the rest of my life. i'd like to thank the creative masterminds at walt disney animation studios for the artistic direction on this puzzle. last but not least, thank you jason bateman for the test solve

FLATS FURDAY: ZOOTOPIA EDITION

you can't spell "ettu has been posting a lot about zootopia as of late" without "flat!".

TRANSPOSAL (6)

Nick and Judy act like SPATs

They have to solve the case, and fast.

They work so hard! I love their... drive?

Oh wait a sec, it's called their "PAST"

LETTER BANK (HOW = 5, OH WOW = 7)

There once was an affable cheetah,

The ZPD's resident greetah. 

He loved donuts with HOW,

And his app with OH WOW.

(He'd flip if they happened to meet-ah)

GOING SAVAGE (TAME = 4, FERAL = 8)

"Zootopia"'s perfect to watch while you chill:

crack open a TAME and relax.

It sucks you in fast, with its cute furry toons,

But then: savage mammal attacks!

This movie is art—they should send it to Cannes!

Why is it so slept on? That FERALs me, man.

TRANSDELETION (FIRST = 6 3, SECOND = 2-6)

My Wildehopps headcanon: they SECOND a child

(Domestic life! What could be greater?).

"Remember, I love you," says Hopps to her Wilde

(The FIRST helps him play it back later)

LETTER BANK (PHRASE ONE = 5 7, THE LONGER PHRASE TWO = 3'1 3 6 4 3 4)

Drama 'lert nation,

An update for you:

With no hesitation,

THE LONGER PHRASE TWO!

Bellwether's in trouble—

Her mayorship's done.

Those mammals went savage

Because of PHRASE ONE.

VORING

i ran out of time on this one but the idea is to have NICK vore the words ET AL to make the phrase NICE TALK. if you could write the flat and say it to yourself that'd be good.

click the button for answers

SLEUTH / HUSTLE | GLAZE / GAZELLE | BEER / BEWILDER | CARROT PEN / COPARENT | NIGHT HOWLERS / LET'S GET ROIGHT INTO THE NEWS | TRY EVERYTHING (T+RYE+VERY THIN G)

puzzle one hundred and twenty six: jerry the elephant can eat my pant (zootopia puzzle #4)

sorry for the delay, i was busy watching a really really good movie! can you guess which one it was

hint #1: it came out in 2016

hint #2: it starts with a "z"

hint #3: the next two letters are "oo"

hint #4: one of the stars is the guy from arrested development

that's right! i was watching zoolander 2

 

puzzle one hundred and twenty five: roll credits! (zootopia puzzle #3)

this puzzle will also be available at Disneyland™. go on the rides  :) brought to you by Disney+™ 

 

puzzle one hundred and twenty four: completely themeless (zootopia puzzle #2)

have you thanked Disney+™ for its quality entertainment today? i'll give you some time to do that if you haven't already. anyway here's the text of the entire zootopia teaser trailer 

In the world of Zootopia, humans never happened, which makes Zootopia a modern civilized world that is entirely animal. (Nick pops into frame) That is an animal. Animals in Zootopia are anthropomorphic; that is just a big, fancy word that means that they walk around on two feet, they do not go to work nude—(clothes appear on Nick) thank you. Almost—(Nick turns around and zips up) that's got it—and, they use technology. (animals walk through frame) Okay there are mammals from all over the globe in Zootopia, large and small, fast and slow. But the truth is: Zootopia isn't perfect, and just like our world, not everyone gets along. (Nick trips Judy) Especially natural enemies. (arrows with "Fox" and "Bunny" point to Nick and Judy respectively) Which can create some issues. But nature always gives animals special skills to survive, (Nick claps his hands, screen goes dark) and while one may have amazing night vision, (Judy claps, light turns off and Nick is gone) another may have incredible hearing... and an air-powered elephant tranquilizer (Judy darts Nick, he falls from the ceiling on his face). So now you know. Zootopia. Like nothing you've seen be-furrr.

anyway why did judy have an elephant tranquilizer. that's kinda messed up

puzzle one hundred and twenty three, brought to you by Disney+™ (zootopia puzzle #1)

thanks to this new Zootopia Word List™ courtesy of Disney+™, i'm now able to write crosswords about my favorite movie. Disney™ is giving me enough money to post puzzles every day this week!

here's the script for reference to guide you along this journey. stay hoppy!

puzzle one hundred and twenty two: this is unBEARable ;))))

one year ago today, a very special puzzle ran in the new york times. zero years ago today, a very special puzzle is running in et tu etui. one year from now today, the Seabear Incident will rock the crossword world as a whole. prepare yourself while you can

 

FLATS FRIDAY: THE MUSICAL

these cannot be sung.

LETTER BANKLESS (4 2 5, *13)

I drew stuff on my selfie

in memoriam for Pop,

the app called it a LOLLOP, it said

“love you father, PLOP”

 

PLURAL (4, 5)

Whene’er a SINGULAR craving comes,

(And believe me, it does on the regs),

There’s nothing I like to munch on more,

Than some good ol’ PLURALS and eggs!

  

CHANGE OF HEART (5 4, 4, 8, 5)

There once was a NINE who would strive

To tell all that non-tall men could thrive,

His words, although wise,

Came as quite a surprise

(They were EIGHT to FOUR person on FIVE)

THE ANSWER IS CUMQUAT (*7, and that *7 is “Cumquat”)

CUMQUAT

click the button for answers

REST IN PEACE / SNAPSTERPIECE | SOUP / SOUPS | SHORT KING / EACH / SHOCKING/ EARTH | CUMQUAT

puzzle one hundred and twenty one: super unusual sundaysized

darian gave me back my blog and apologized. anyway, here's that puzzle i was talking about last week (6-down).  no nyt sunday has ever had a similar concept i don't think.

Crossword #2 by Darian Powell

Here's a puzzle about my favorite subject: ME. AHAHAHAHAHAHA

   

Crossword #1 by Darian Powell

The first mistake Ettu made was not monetizing their fame while they had the chance. This is the first of many changes I will be making around here.

- Darian (darianxwords.blogspot.com)

 

DISCO KEVIN HAS SOMETHING TO SAY

THIS IS NOT A FLAT (0, 0)

Et Tu, Ettu, or Etui, however you want to refer to yourself. 

I now have access to your blog.

I pretended to be Disco Kevin to gain your trust.

The moment you gave me your log-in info to write my post,

I changed the HTML to freeze your website

so that you would freak out.

I knew you would be incapable of finding and fixing it.

In doing that, I was able to stall time to hack into your e-mail

to change the password for your account.

After doing that, I logged you out and unfroze the site.

It is mine now.

BACKSTORY (6, 6)

I’ve been the subject of your jokes since this blog began.

I am tired of seeing my name sullied for your horrible puzzles.

You all laugh at me.

I’ve seen your “about me” page, where you say your name is an anagram of “ardian powell”.

Guess what. I’ve had enough of this mockery.

I’m not actually a man named Disco Kevin.

My name is Darian Powell, and I am a crossword constructor.

REALIZATION (0w0)

How dare you think I’m so clueless,

thinking I wouldn’t recognize my own name

with only the first two letters switched around.

I’m not your little plaything.

I'm tired of the relentless mockery: saying I’m the constructor

of one of the worst puzzle websites at the time,

turning me into a meme among you and your community.

This stops now.

LETTER BANK (2, 3)

The fuzzy heads on fursuits

Aren’t great for seeing through.

I tripped real bad at AnthroCon—

I first said “THREE,” then “TWO!”

THREAT (8, 2)

I now know your identity.

I will reveal it to the world if you don’t promise me these three things:

1) never make a joke about me ever again.

2) you must tell people to follow my blog darianxwords.blogspot.com

3) you must write up my puzzles on your blog the day I post them with a glowing review

Your move, Et Tu Etui

puzzle one hundred and twenty: i'd be hard-PRESSED to tell you what this theme is (wink)

i really regret making someone a theme answer in this puzzle after the events of this week. anyway this is the post.

puzzle one hundred and nineteen: eat shit (baby baby ooh) uhh (disco kevin guest puzzle)

guest puzzle by my muse: disco kevin, the mad dude with the rad 'tude! (note: keep the guest constructor for this puzzle in mind. disco kevin is "A THING", okay? it's going to be VERY important later this week. just keep it in mind. disco kevin. cool.)

puzzle one hundred and eighteen: eat my shorts

yeah i'm talking to you bob dole

FLATS FRIDAY 3X2

flats be like:

B-TO-CH CHANGE (4, *5)

Happy BIRTHDAY to you,

Happy BIRTHDAY to you,

Happy BIRTHDAY dear CHIRTHDAY,

Happy BIRTHDAY to you!

UNEXPECTED PISSING (3, *2-*4)

This nursery rhyme bangs, it’s plays on a loop, see

There’s just no CLEAN PANTS that’s like “Little OOPSIE”

LETTER BANK (10, *8 5)

My gamer boyfriend’s immature

(I’m sorry, it’s a fact).

Though he had V-bucks, to be sure,

his V-card stayed intact.

But then we did *you know* in bed

(though, yes, I’ll say that we’re unwed).

I hoped he’d mellowed, but instead,

he did a DEED after we ED.

CENSORSHIP (4, 4)

I don't give a SHIT 'bout your utensil pack

I don't need a knife, spoon, or SHOOT for my snack

LETTER BANK (8, *7 6)

We’ve all dealt with our THINGS here,

If you’re the unwed sort,

Log in and join our INSIGHT for

emotional support

click the button for answers

BRIS/CHRIS | BOP/BO PEEP | FORNICATED/FORTNITE DANCE | FUCK/FORK | DIVORCE/DISCORD SERVER

puzzle one hundred and seventeen: rejected puzzle

dear newspapers,

I am constantly upset by the lack of respect I have been recieving in your submissions processes. I give you my good grid, and you leave me in the lurch like a stray dog, left for dead in a sea of misery and bereavement. my soul pangs in hunger for a single drop of validation, yet I recieve nary. oh crossword overseers, what have I BECOME to you?? such that you not only deny my presence in your papers, but also in your hearts. this puzzle was sent to MULTIPLE outlets and rejected for NO reason. this is a TECHNICAL MARVEL and the fact that I even thought so much as to SELL it is a TESTAMENT to my TRUST.

I now bequeath this puz unto thine web browser in hopes that its unrecognized glory speaks to your very mind and soul. if anybody has any suggestions on how to make it more marketable, feel free to hit my e-mail

puzzle one hundred and sixteen: border crossings

i live in [insert state] and i love my city [something that starts with "san"] 

puzzle one hundred and fifteen: dont put all your egs in one basket

cause i sure did! ugh

FLATS FRIDAY 5IVE: THE LETTER BANK EPISODE

you know what they say: flats today, flats only today.

flats rules!

LETTER BANK (8, *2 *6  *6)

I caved and saw those videos

my friends URGED me to watch

from RUGGED on the Internet

of cysts and zits and spots

LETTER BANK (10, 8 3 3 12)

If Twitter is a river

where information’s flowing,

It feels like I am racing BOATS

with no sure sign of slowing.

I get caught up in arguments

with users who don’t care,

with "TABOOS" in their bio

(though if true, why would they share?)

LETTER BANK (5, 3 5)

I’ve quite a story for you now,

So let me fill the page

I knew that I liked gulping fic

From quite an early age

The other kids played CATCH outside,

But I just couldn’t follow.

I spent time wishing I’d be CHAT

(It’s quite a pill to… swallow)

LETTER BANK (*4, *20)

On YouTube I’m having a blast!

The video choices are vast—

I’m quenching my thirst

to hear Usher sing “FIRST”

Then listen to He-Man sing “LAST”

LETTER BANKLESS (6, 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 *6)

I’m watching superhero ‘toons

While tending to my chicken coop.

I feed a little HOP with corn

And hear the theme song go “OH POOP.”

click the button for answers

IMPLORED/DR. PIMPLE POPPER | DOWNSTREAM/RETWEETS ARE NOT ENDORSEMENTS | VORED/RED ROVER | YEAH/HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA | BANTAM/NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA BATMAN

puzzle one hundred and fourteen: borat tribute puzzle

this might be the worst crossword of all time... NOT! get it? like borat? hello? can you even hear me? ("waving through a window" by evan hansen starts playing)

puzzle one hundred and thirteen: but i'm not a wrapper

i'm gonna be real. i really dropped the ball on this one. this grid has two-letter words, unches, and some of the words don't even make sense. i hold myself to a high standard, honing my craft in hopes that one day i can follow in the footsteps of my hero, arthur wynne. this was a failure on my part. solve knowing that this is puzzle is not who i am, and not who i want to be.

puzzle one hundred and twelve: not a vore puzzle

i've been getting tons of fan mail requesting another vore puzzle, and i hear you, i really do, but today's puzzle is not a vore puzzle. i know, i know, vore this, vore that, one vore, two vore, red vore, blue vore, but seriously. not a vore puzzle.

now if you'll excuse me, i have tons to do.

 

answers to yesterday's flats: CORBYN, BRONYCON / CALL/BOCK/ ...you know the other two / STEAMY, EAT MY ASS / RAP BEEF, BPA-FREE

FLATS FRIDAY IV

 

here are the flats! wait fuck fuck fuck these are round.

answers tomorrow!

puzzle one hundred and eleventy one: partially filled puzzle

this puzzle is inspired by the fact that "penis" was in a new york times puzzle, clued as a partial, included in the xwordinfo word list, and then scored at a 20, which is tiers above being a "puzzle-killer".

wait a minute what the fuck is this

puzzle one hundred and ten: the before times

ok so you guys know that episode of spongebob where spongebob and patrick are raising a clam baby and the baby shits so much that spongebob has to put all the dirty diapers inside the walls of his house. what the fuck was that about. okay here's a puzzle.

puzzle one hundred and nine: check, check, check, and check

small puzzle today. square 19 is checked four times, so it's gotta be the easiest part of this entire puzzle. 

answers to yesterday's flats: INVADERS / DINERS DRIVE-INS AND DIVES, GMAIL / LIGMA, DIN-DIN / DINED IN, R L STINE / RSTLNE, ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ / BIG BIRD SINGS GOOD A QUIZZICAL WORD TO TEACH KIDS EVERY LETTER IT’S JUST LIKE THE TEXT I’M WRITING NOW A FLAT WHICH GOES LIKE BETTER

FLATS FRIDAY: #3

what has two thumbs and loves wordplay? THAT'S RIGHT, FLATS FRIDAY DOES, AW YEAH!!!

flats rules: [link].

LETTER BANK (8, *6 *5-*3 3 *5) The WHOS broke into some cafe, To try and grab some loot. But Guy was filming there that day— he had to save his shoot. He splashed some grease! The crooks were burned, And on that day, a lesson learned: You mess with SHOWS, you’re going down. Don’t fuck with Mr. Flavortown. TRANSPOSAL (*5, 5) Today on TUMBLR I received a message so disturbing, A friend of mine got news that a disease was in them stirring. The ailment is unknown to me, its name I haven't heard, So in reply I sent a message asking them, "What's BLURMT?" UNADULTERATED MDMA INSERTION (3-3, 5 2) After hours of work at the grind, I was ready to eat up my MIND, I referred to the 'hub For the optimal grub, And after it got here, I MINED. PASTEOVER (*1 *1 *5, *6) I made it to the bonus round: The answer will be a name. The letters blink, and instantly, I know the answer's MCLAIN. I gave no consonants or vowel, But trust me, I won't be wrong, This author's name is easy When they give you all of MILAN. LETTER BANK (26, *3 *4 5 *4 1 9 4 2 5 4 5 6 2’1 4 4 3 4 1’1 7 3 1 4 5 4 4 *6) Big Bird sings GOOD, a quizzical word To teach kids every letter. It’s just like the text I’m writing now: A flat, which goes like “BETTER.”

answers tomorrow!!

puzzle one hundred and eight: final project for stupid space class [CHANGE NAME LATER].puz - by stanley yelnats and the N.A.S.A. crossword class

today's puzzle comes from longtime contributor stanley yelnats, along with the N.A.S.A. crossword class. here are their space comments:

Space Addie came up with the theme for this one, and we like it lots! Stanley was super fun to work with when he wasn't asking the students if they wanted to invest in "Bipcoin". Also, this is a callout post to Space Priscilla, who didn't contribute anything to this puzzle and shouldn't be getting credit for the group project.

puzzle one hundred and seven: at the halloween play...

happy halloween! here's a puzzle.

puzzle one hundred and six: money moves

hunky dunky funky monkey it's a timely one

answers to yesterday's flats: COST / SCOTT'S TOTS, QUESARITO / AIR QUOTES, SHORT KING /  EACH / SHOCKING / EARTH, SWING VOTERS / STRONG VIEWS, BELCH OUT / BUTTHOLE CUT

FLATS FRIDAY: NUMBER TWO

i think fart should be spelt with a silent p. pfart. anyway here are pflats.

flats rules: [link].

LETTER BANK (4, *5’1 *4)

“The Office” rules, but lemme say

I skip B every time.

It’s funny, yeah, but at what A?

It’s cringy [MAKE THIS RHYME]

TRANSPOSAL (*9, 3 6)

Two dishes at Taco Bell rolled into one:

Go order a STAPLE, think outside the bun,

Just stick out your fingers, mi hombre, my dude,

With PETALS around it, that’s “Mexican food!”

CHANGE OF HEART (5 4, 4, 8, 5)

There once was a NINE who would strive

To tell all that non-tall men could thrive,

His words, although wise,

Came as quite a surprise

(They were EIGHT to FOUR person on FIVE)

TRANSPOSAL (5 6, 6, 5)

The campaign’s focused on the ONE,

will they turn red or blue?

They’re really not that hard to coax,

they don’t have very TWO.

LETTER BANK (5 3, 8 3)

I’m really not that talented

in practical things yet,

however I can skateboard well

and WRITE the alphabet,

though there’s one thing I did that brings

me joy on which I thrive,

I found the lost TWITTER of “Cats” 

(it’s saved here on my drive)

answers tomorrow!!